Who is 'X'?

Wednesday, December 08, 2010

I don't really understand about my feeling recently.
Sometimes I feel better, but suddenly I feel nothing, I feel different, I feel alone, and the most sever is I feel missing. Hhahaa, missing of what? Missing of who?

Oke, I know the suffer of the boarding house's girl is they usually miss her families.
Yess, I think it's true. But maybe it's not only about that. I often thinking about my home, my mother father sister brother, and I really really need to share my life here to them. Even just by phone, by chatting. I can't wait until I come back home again later, huaahh!

But there's something wrong here.
I don't want to recognize that it's about a boy. No! I'm not sure about that. Even I don't know for whom is this? Hhahaa, I tried to realize, I tried to commit my focus.

Why am I here?
Because I want to study, I want to become a dentist!

And before it's achieved, I will continue to focus focus and focus again. Beside my good times of course, hahhaa. Oke, I'm serious! But I don't know what happen is this. It's something like disturbing me.

I hate to become flabby
I hate to become awkwardly when I see 'x'
I hate to see his smile, but I don't know why I still want to see?
I hate to become his fans, because I know he has many fans already.
Actually I don't want having this,
and I'm tired to avoid that all!

The big question is,

It seems only my imagination, just in my dream. In the fact, no one there!
Hhahaa, crazy! I started to imagining an impossible thing.

But one thing that I realized is:
I need to come back home immediately to refresh my brain! Really need.

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